Tuesday, December 24, 2013

A Christmas Funny for my peeps...

In the spirit of the holidays, I was on the blog of the lovely Ms. Kristen Lamb earlier today and she asked the question, What's the best Christmas Present you've ever gotten or given? And I just had to tell this story...(Warning, do *not* drink while reading the following...just sayin'...)

I got stopped once – back when I worked a 7pm to 3am shift and was sooooo tired the poor cop thought I was drunk. (I was a little punch drunk mind you, but still safe enough to drive.)

Anyway, I proceeded to stumble a bit, shot my arm in the air and answered the cop’s question of “Have you had anything to drink?” with, “YES! But it was the Klingon’s….they MADE me do it!”

This of course required the standard sobriety test to follow – which continuing to play the part of the drunken, alien diplomat – I failed in gloriously horrible fashion – doing things like, “Walk a straight line, heel to toe…” where I would pretend to stumble (not really cause I’m a natural klutz anyway!) and shout…”THERE IT GOES…” and “Say your ABC’s backwards…” To which I answered in some randomly made up and very ALIEN sounding language and the “Lean your head back, close your eyes and touch the tips of your fingers to your nose…” brought about a rockin’ rendition of a horribly belted out Klingon Opera whilst randomly poking myself in the eye!

Needless to say, the poor cop eventually gave me the Breathalyzer, which I passed of course (I truly had not had a drop!). When he finally broke down, frowning at the poor machine (He made me take it four times mind you b/c he thought it was busted) I leaned back against my car and told him in a perfectly calm tone, “Merry Christmas Sir. You looked like you could use a bit of levity on this day.”

At which point he fell over laughing…

When he could speak again, he just shook his head and said, “That, by far, was the strangest traffic stop/possible DUI I’ve ever had, but thank you. And Merry Christmas to you too.”

Now, as I have no friends and no family – and didn’t back then either – this was by far the best present I’ve ever given or gotten.

Best part…I still have the video! (Somewhere mind you, I have moved over the years, but it was all caught on his dash cam. And yes, for the remaining two years I lived in the area, every time I passed a cop, be they city or county, they smiled and waved, telling me they too, had seen...the video!)

The point being, during this time of year, remember it's not necessarily that you give a gaily wrapped gift of paper, ribbons and bows, but the fact that you give a gift of laughter and joy to someone who might just need it...

And I'd love to hear the best present you've ever gotten, given or got this year! Feel free to comment below with your answer and your email and I might just draw a name for a copy of I Saw Momma Shoot Santa Claus sometime later on tonight...you never know!

Happy Holidays everyone. May yours be filled with good food, fun laughter, Peace and Joy!

Until next time,

Margaret Taylor


  1. Oh my! That was funny!! There's no way I could top a story like that. Thank you for the laugh and Merry Christmas to you, too!!

  2. Great story you'll always have to tell others.
    My greatest gift actually came early...late November. We'd been waiting to adopt and got our first child so had her to share the holidays with. AND, my best friend was also waiting to adopt. They got their daughter two weeks after we got ours. The girls were two weeks apart in age! We dressed them in similar dresses for Christmas and had a wonderful time.
    Merry Christmas...and you have friends...all the romance writing community!

  3. Margaret,
    I think the best present was this year when my children came over to hang with me and shared all sorts of fun "stuff" about their dad's new gf. Mind you, he's my ex for a reason but still is funny to know that I'm in a better place!

    daringzoey at yahoo.com

  4. This was hilarious and I'll take the gift of laughter anytime!

  5. Well, besides the present that I received 2000 years ago, the gift of my Savior, I think the best gift was the birth of our granddaughter, 22 years ago - on Dec 5. We also have 3 grandsons, and are thankful for them all - but the first grandchild is always special.
    Your story was indeed quite funny -- know I couldn't've pulled it off at all. It is also touching.
    May your Christmas be filled with fun, laughter, good friends, family (and family isn't just biological, but those of choice), food, and health! And may the following year continue with good fortune and good health -- and lots more stories!

  6. Thanks for the wonderful story. That's truly funny. My husband got stopped once while on a paper route. He was driving with his knees and the cop stopped him for DUI.. When he saw the papers he waved him on his way and told him to be careful. Hope your have the most wonderful Christmas and the best New Year ever.